March 4, 2003

ACQUAINTANCE

Over at 3WA, there's a topic about best friends - describe your best friend, how long you've known them, what's so great about them, and so forth. I have to admit that the concept of a life long best friend (or one of any time, for that matter) eludes me. Growing up, any friends I had were friends for the moment. Eventually one of us would move away; the result of a parent being posted to a new location. You chummed around together and all, but there was always that degree of separation, that lack of intimate bonding, that true best friends seem to have. As I got older and life's circumstances played out as they did, the whole idea of what a best friend is or having one simply faded into the background.

Sure, I have friends. Some could be classified as good. Best friend? No idea what that is. Mostly, my life has been in the company of acquaintances - folks that are right there, right now, that you never get to know much about under the surface, who are gone tomorrow and who, perhaps someday, you'd have enter your mind in a passing thought and wonder "What ever happened to so-and-so?" Then, the moment will pass and life will progress ever forward.

It could be argued that my wife is my best friend; after all, we've been together for 17 1/2 years. In all honesty, I can't fit her piece into the puzzle of what my mind constitutes a best friend to be. There's a separation there between spouse and best bud. Don't get me wrong, I love her to bits (and bits and bits.) It's just that in the warped way my brain works the two, wife and best friend, are incongruous at this time. I know, I'm a freak of nature.

I often wonder if I'll ever have a best friend - you know, The One. Someone you can tell anything to; who will be in cahoots with you through thick and thin; who puts up with your warped sense of humour and even reciprocates in kind; who will, when you least expect it, come out of the blue and surprise you; who will be bluntly and brutally honest with you, to the point when you just want them to shut up because you know they're right; who shares a lot of the same interests but isn't afraid to pursue their own, while simultaneously giving you full support for whatever you show interest in; who you can turn to for support and comfort when all around you is crumbling to shite.

Therein lies the appeal and the strength of 3WA, methinks. The vast majority of the members are acquaintances, yet at the drop of the hat will fulfill any or all of the roles of best friend in multiple numbers. No wonder I fit in so well.

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